Christine Lowry’s blog

Well, thats what it feels like anyway.  Getting better, today is Saturday morning and I’ve already been out to Pat’s to eat.  Love going to Pat’s for breakfast, ordered the poached eggs with toast and a little fruit.  This is good for me but it was hard to eat it all, Simon got most of the toast but I ate the rest.  The pain seems like its gone for good now, but the nausea and body malfunctions remain so this Monday I am going to go to the Health Center and see what they think. 

Share The Care

This group has been an incredible boon to me and I think the main reason I am feeling better now.  Thanks to my Share the Care group my house is clean, my laundry is washed, there is cooked food in the fridge for me to eat and Simon gets walked, plus the extra time I spend with people, that alone has given me immense strength.  I am incredibly lucky to be this person receiving this help, incredibly.

Chemo Off Again

Well, I went off for my weekly chemo on Friday but when I got there the nurse said that because I had requested Hospice care that I couldn’t do chemo too.  Well, that threw me for a loop for a few moments until I realized that earlier this week there had been a meeting to organize my ‘final wishes’ about my care.  At the meeting Hospice had been mentioned and I guess people had followed up by contacting hospice, but to do this they had to talk to my doctor, who signed off on the hospice care!  Well, my wish had been granted, out of chemo for another week.  We spoke to a nurse about the situation and it was decided I would out of chemo this week, speak with hospice, then maybe let hospice know its too early for me (if, indeed it is) and go back to chemo next week. 

Went out to eat Kung Pao Chicken after the cancelled chemo, it tasted great.  Maybe I shouldn’t have though as it came back later in the evening.  Wonder why the pain has gone but the nausea remains? 

Well, Monday came around and my big meeting/gathering is to happen, but I felt awful physically, taking morphine only dulled the pain, I was vomiting and just felt so weak that I called Beth early afternoon and told her I wasn’t sure I could make it to my own meeting! Beth ran to the rescue and called Pam who came around to sit with me, then Beth arrived and we shared our company for some time. Just having the company felt good, there was an opportunity to give my attention to something other than my body and its pains. It was decided that the sensible thing to do was for my to rest and allow the meeting to go on without me as I healed at home.

How Could I Do That?

So, it was the right decision, Beth said that I would probably get tired just from getting dressed and I knew just what she meant, so I made the sensible decision and Pam and Beth left to organize the meeting more as I snuggled back into bed. It was after 4 then and I lay down and relaxed, feeling so much better from just having the company. I lay and thought and wondered about this meeting that I had looked forward to for so long and so many times, and if I didn’t get to this meeting when would I get another opportunity?

Well, I convinced myself to give it a try. I got dressed, well - that wasn’t too bad, didn’t get too dizzy so I thought I would call Noel and see if she could pick me up, but the cell wouldn’t pick up. Then I thought I would just go for it. I would walk, with Simon, down to the resort. If I made it and was too tired then I could get a ride back but if I made it and wasn’t too tired then I would have my gathering!

Gathering Awaits

So there it was, the Boathouse. It took some searching for; that New Dawn resort is a lot larger than I knew. But the Boathouse was found, attendees in place and me there too . . . not too tired, in fact a little hungry, in fact very hungry! But I waited for a while. I looked around the room and saw some people I knew, other people I had never seen before and wondered again about the beauty of the human spirit, I almost didn’t want to make eye contact I felt unworthy. The gathering was in process when I arrived with people speaking of how they felt, why they were there, what had led to their being there. For me it was very moving and I looked around the room at all the wonderful people who had volunteered to come and help me on this strange journey I’m on. How can you just say thank you for that? What can you do? I am going to open myself up as much as I can so we can all become the big family that I know we all need in our lives, I want to like and love to the fullest, not just politely, I want to warmly welcome all of my new family in, not politely tell them “perhaps another time” a love that they are showing deserves the best that I can give back and I am going to go for giving quality to my new gang of angels.

So Much Was Done

So, indeed much was done at the gathering, the way the system works was described, then people listed their talents and times they were available. It turns out that I have people willing to help me with: laundry, housecleaning, driving to chemo, massage, insurance, cooking, walking the dog, and keeping me company when I am getting cabin fever. We talked about my cancer situation, some of which I am completely unsure about. My friend Robert made a good point when he mentioned that we were spending a lot of time talking about my dying, and he didn’t think that I was ready for that yet. This was good to bring up, because in some ways I feel the same as Robert. However, after at least three weeks of abject pain I have had to look a little closer at my mortality and while this could end up being an infection from my uti bugs and just go away (that would be wonderful!), this also could very likely be the cancer in my torso they mentioned in the last Pet Scan. I have to admit thoughts of death came to me many times in these past few weeks - that I was at a near-death situation, the pain was just too inhumane. Now I look in the mirror and know that I better take care of my paperwork while I still am conscious enough to! And believe me, I have a smile on my face today because I have a new gang of angels who will help me through this. I am praying for remission though, that is what I want - but this darned cancer just loves me and has a hard time leaving.

Today is Thursday and I was hoping for a third day free of ‘hurling’ but today had me throwing up about three times, and I missed my eating window also. I woke up hungry but lay in bed so my appetite left. Never mind, I definitely feel stronger than yesterday, but I have a ways to go and I know I am still losing weight.

http://www.tbyil.com/HIV_Clinical_Trial.htm

This is the link to a page which speaks some about oleander and its effect on patients with AIDS and Cancer. If you follow through the links and read the trial (the parts you can understand) it shows some amazing statistics. Almost too good to be true, but lets not get cynical here. These days I do have a respect for Clinical Trials.

I have only just started taking Oleander, and its suggested that I should see some effect within 60 days. I don’t immediately feel anything but, for me, thats a plus. Usually my medicine tastes pretty foul.

Well, before I start on the Oleander I had to do the liver cleanse. The first three days all I had to do was drink an extra litre of apple juice, then the fourth day I didn’t eat after noon, and took epsom salts, later on I had to drink a mix of olive oil and organic grapefruit juice. I expected some violent reaction, but nothing like that at all. In fact I hardly noticed anything, but anyway I’m glad I’m cleansed. The epsom salts were pretty gross to drink, I thought the grapefruit juice with the olive oil would be worse, but it wasn’t

Pains Are Less

So, I’ve been trying to take the high path as regards my eating. Having noticed that when I eat food that is not too good I get pains. I tend to have a big breakfast these days as that is when I am hungry. I have to work on some of the other things the doctor (who makes the oleander) recommends. Lower stress, get rid of old resentments, drink plenty of water, eat lots of fresh vegetables and fruits, get to bed before 10:30, plenty of sunshine and exercise. I am just hoping that this works for me. Lets cross fingers.

The Marijuana Man

I think that is what he called himself. In my never ending pursuit of the latest in cancer research I heard about Hemp Oil (not Hemp Seed Oil) which can cure cancer. Even Andrew Weil recommends it, but the federal authorities don’t, so the guy who promoted this (there is a video about this on you tube showing how to make the mixture) got fined and closed down. He said though that a 90 day supply would be enough to cure any cancer. That 90 supply still costs $2000, which is cheap though in cancer-dollars. If this is true and it can cure cancer then its pretty wicked of the authorities to hide that from us.

Well, yesterday was pretty much both up and down. I started off the day early by heaving the bad food I had consumed (a combination of teriyaki and ice cream), out of my system.  This went on for a while. Eventually I got some rest around 3 or so, got up at 6 to do the show at KGGV, took some anti-nausea drug - under the tongue - and walked to the station. After a few minutes in the studio I started to get nauseous again and heaved three times into the bushes outside of the studio. It was a toss up whether to stay and do the show or go home and go to bed. I chose to stay, I figured I was going to go for chemo a couple of hours later so I wouldn’t get too much extra rest, anyway I might as well enjoy myself while I can.

At The Clinic

I drove to the clinic, feeling shivery and cold and told them I didn’t feel so well. Of course, they take my vitals which were wonderful - my blood pressure, temperature etc. not a problem, it doesn’t look outwardly that I am sick. But, the Nurse Practitioner got the results of the blood pull they take every time I’m at the clinic and she told me that I must be fighting something off, because my white blood cell count was very high. This is an unusual sign in my situation and a very promising one. The Nurse Practitioner suggested too that it was time I got further checked to see how my body is, she told me that my blood count figures (all of them) were wonderful. Ct scans are being ordered as they thought that it was too soon after the last PetScan to order another one (that it would take weeks to get approved) so it looks like I have a couple of ct scans in my future, but I’m excited, I think that the work my medicine man has done on me has made such a difference that I will be able to see it on the scan. Anyway the best part at the time was that I was ‘excused’ from doing chemo that day (yeah!!), but thinking back of course the best part is that my body is acting like a healthy body!!

Back To My Medicine Man

I need to touch bases with my medicine man, I’ll call him in the next few days for another follow up. I worry that his dad may have died as he was close before, however I’m looking forward to telling him that my blood work looks so good.

Well, they have talked about this over and over, whether “chemo Brain” is real or not. Now we have proof, although we will have a wait until anyone does anything about this. I guess we should be glad we have part of our brains functioning. The article that covers this follows:

A commonly used chemotherapy drug causes healthy brain cells to die off
long after treatment has ended and may be one of the underlying
biological causes of the cognitive side effects — or “chemo brain” –
that many cancer patients experience. That is the conclusion of a study
published today in the Journal of Biology.

A team of researchers at the University of Rochester Medical Center
(URMC) and Harvard Medical School have linked the widely used
chemotherapy drug 5-fluorouracil (5-FU) to a progressing collapse of
populations of stem cells and their progeny in the central nervous system.

“This study is the first model of a delayed degeneration syndrome that
involves a global disruption of the myelin-forming cells that are
essential for normal neuronal function,” said Mark Noble, Ph.D.,
director of the University of Rochester Stem Cell and Regenerative
Medicine Institute and senior author of the study. “Because of our
growing knowledge of stem cells and their biology, we can now begin to
understand and define the molecular mechanisms behind the cognitive
difficulties that linger and worsen in a significant number of cancer
patients.”

Cancer patients have long complained of neurological side effects such
as short-term memory loss and, in extreme cases, seizures, vision loss,
and even dementia. Until very recently, these cognitive side effects
were often dismissed as the byproduct of fatigue, depression, and
anxiety related to cancer diagnosis and treatment. Now a growing body of
evidence has documented the scope of these conditions, collectively
referred to as chemo brain. And while it is increasingly acknowledged by
the scientific community that many chemotherapy agents may have a
negative impact on brain function in a subset of cancer patients, the
precise mechanisms that underlie this dysfunction have not been identified.

Virtually all cancer survivors experience short-term memory loss and
difficulty concentrating during and shortly after treatment. A study two
years ago by researchers with the James P. Wilmot Cancer Center at the
University of Rochester showed that upwards of 82 percent of breast
cancer patients reported that they suffer from some form of cognitive
impairment.

While these effects tend to wear off over time, a subset of patients,
particularly those who have been administered high doses of
chemotherapy, begin to experience these cognitive side effects months or
longer after treatment has ceased and the drugs have long since departed
their systems. For example, a recent study estimates that somewhere
between 15 percent and 20 percent of the nation’s 2.4 million female
breast cancer survivors have lingering cognitive problems years after
treatment. Another study showed that 50 percent of women had not
recovered their previous level of cognitive function one year after
treatment.

Two years ago, Noble and his team showed that three common chemotherapy
drugs used to treat a wide range of cancers were more toxic to healthy
brain cells than the cancer cells they were intended to treat. While
these experiments were among the first to establish a biological basis
for the acute onset of chemo brain, they did not explain the lingering
impact that many patients experience.

The scientists conducted a similar series of experiments in which they
exposed both individual cell populations and mice to doses of
5-fluorouracil (5-FU) in amounts comparable to those used in cancer
patients. 5-FU is among a class of drugs called antimetabolites that
block cell division and has been used in cancer treatment for more than
40 years. The drug, which is often administered in a “cocktail” with
other chemotherapy drugs, is currently used to treat breast, ovarian,
stomach, colon, pancreatic and other forms of cancer.

The researchers discovered that months after exposure, specific
populations of cells in the central nervous — oligodendrocytes and
dividing precursor cells from which they are generated — underwent such
extensive damage that, after six months, these cells had all but
disappeared in the mice.

Oligodendrocytes play an important role in the central nervous system
and are responsible for producing myelin, the fatty substance that, like
insulation on electrical wires, coats nerve cells and enables signals
between cells to be transmitted rapidly and efficiently. The myelin
membranes are constantly being turned over, and without a healthy
population of oligodendrocytes, the membranes cannot be renewed and
eventually break down, resulting in a disruption of normal impulse
transmission between nerve cells.

These findings parallel observations in studies of cancer survivors with
cognitive difficulties. MRI scans of these patients’ brains revealed a
condition similar to leukoencephalopathy . This demyelination — or the
loss of white matter — can be associated with multiple neurological
problems.

“It is clear that, in some patients, chemotherapy appears to trigger a
degenerative condition in the central nervous system,” said Noble.
“Because these treatments will clearly remain the standard of care for
many years to come, it is critical that we understand their precise
impact on the central nervous system, and then use this knowledge as the
basis for discovering means of preventing such side effects.”

Noble points out that not all cancer patients experience these cognitive
difficulties and determining why some patients are more vulnerable may
be an important step in developing new ways to prevent these side
effects. Because of this study, researchers now have a model which, for
the first time, allows scientists to begin to examine this condition in
a systematic manner.

Other investigators participating in the study include Ruolan Han,
Ph.D., Yin M. Yang, M.D., Anne Luebke, Ph.D., Margot Mayer-Proschel,
Ph.D., all with URMC, and Joerg Dietrich, M.D., Ph.D., formerly with
URMC and now with Harvard Medical School. The study was funded by the
National Institutes of Neurological Disorders and Stroke, the Komen
Foundation for the Cure, and the Wilmot Cancer Center.

For more media inquiries, contact:
Mark Michaud
(585) 273-4790
mark_michaud@ urmc.rochester. edu

__

Had a family reunion last week, that was wonderful. My brother John paid for me to go there, thank you John, and also donated a keyboard to me so that I could blogg in comfort. I had used my computer keyboard so much that several of the keys were missing and other keys were not working at all. Now I can type again, freedom! Southern California isn’t as nice as Northern California at all (especially the part of Northern California I live in) but the weather is nice and things are cheaper. Went to the Huntington Library, one of my parents favorite places, and the amount of flowers blooming was almost unbelievable. The Children’s and Chinese Gardens were my favorites. Then to Santa Monica Pier, which I liked a lot, I always loved amusement arcades, went on the mildest roller coaster on the coast but it gave great views of the pier and other amusements. The last time I went on an extreme coaster (at Six Flags) the ride was exciting to the max, but I spent most of the time with my eyes closed so it was nice to really experience this coaster.

Then back to Guerneville and off to the first meeting/event for KOWS programmers, we had pizza/pasta at the Union Hotel and baked in the heat while we got to know one another. The next day one of the programmers (Arnold) invited us to cricket and tea at a park in Sebastopol - that was a blast, had my first taste of gooseberry jam in years, plus the scones with double cream delicious (of course!) many of the Americans on having the rules of cricket explained to them, declared it silly or weird, but after they went to bat they changed their minds, sheesh even with that big bat its hard to hit the ball. A good time was had by all.

Anyway, things have been good for the past two weeks, only during this last week have I felt any pains, and only needed my meds once (yeah!). But I worry because I don’t understand the nature of cancer pain, I will have to ask my doctor again, they usually tell me it could be because the tumors are growing or it could be the tumors are dissolving. Well, dissolving sounds better to me. I want to see my medicine man again though because I believe in him and think he was the reason that the pains went away in the first place. My belly button is acting up again though, no pains, but its leaking greasy stuff and is a very raw red color. Its another two days until I go for chemo again, I really need to talk to my doctor about my skin. This chemo’s side effect is a skin rash, but my whole body has become rough and raw (in places), I hate touching my body as it doesn’t feel very human, my nose bleeds a lot and I’ve started bleeding out of an old hole in my ear lobe, where I used to wear earrings. Its better than throwing up all the time, but I am wondering if this isn’t too much.

,_._

Well, if its not one thing, its two.  Actually I feel pretty lucky today.  I noticed that I had lost my wallet this morning, spent what seemed like forever searching the house and retracking steps back to Johnson’s Beach.  No luck.  I eventually called in my debit card, but nothing else.  Then, around 5:30 I got a call from a guy at the beach who had found my wallet, no money of course but it was all the plastic that I was most concerned about, its such a pain to replace that all.  And I’m going flying next week and didn’t want to take along an outdated passport as ID.  Thank you homeless guy, I gave him a little something for his troubles and he was happy. 

Who Feels Healthy, I Feel Healthy

I can hardly believe it but I’ve felt relatively healthy for over  a week now.  I have thrown up about once a week, but no violent episodes.  The points on my pelvis which would always ache I haven’t felt for a while, at all.  I think this is due to my medicine man.  My oncologist is talking about trying to get me another PETScan at the end of April, but isn’t sure it would be approved (I guess there was so much cancer, there is no point to look for more.)  Anyway he is game to look and me too, I sincerely believe that something may have happened this time.  Tomorrow I will be calling my medicine man to see how he is and let him know that I should be OK for another week as indeed I think I am, he will then see me the following week for our three week follow-up.

Car Problems

Well, I’ve been driving it all over the place so I can’t complain, but I will anyway.  Poor car started shivering at 55 mph, then at 45, then got so bad I had to take it to my mechanic.  He said it was something about the CV axel, I guess it will be several hundred to repair, but repair it we must.  I have a carbon footprint to keep up here.  Have to get to Andys in Sebastapol, got to go to chemo in Santa Rosa, go to go to medicine man in Petaluma, got to visit in San Francisco.  In the meantime I though I might have to miss my show at KOWS again, but I ran into Leslie who lives uphill (or used to) and offered to lend me her car tomorrow.  So, I took up the offer, I need to get some good food from Andys, and get some more music out on KOWS.  People are so good to me.  Thanks Leslie!!!

Well, I guess I can’t glom onto my Medicine Man forever, even though I want to, I do so enjoy our meetings, but our eleven day stretch is over, he has given me psychic surgeries, laid his cold hands on me to heal me, pulled out dead people from within me, recognized contracts I have had with various people plus alerted me that I am living as a Laundry Lady (as he described it; my taking on other peoples emotional troubles, I can’t do that anymore.) So my last “ongoing” appointment was last Thursday and yesterday I went to him for my first update. He gave me a little more healing but declared that he felt I was in a great state and we arranged to meet in about another three weeks.

Michael Teachings Too

Medicine Man (Gary) wanted me to go to a friend of his who gives Michael readings, so I will be going to see her on Monday, that sounds like a bunch of fun. Gary believes that he knew me in a lifetime when he was Richard Burton (the explorer), so I will ask her about that, and what on earth I might be doing here.

Acupuncture

Gary also sent me for some of this, so I searched out a really cheap place that I think I am going to like, so far I have only been once but its called Sebastopol Community Acupuncture and they charge between $20-40 a visit, and if you visit twice in a week then your second appointment is $5 less than the first appointment of the week. You can’t beat that, so I went along for my first visit, it was housed in a Queen Anne Victorian and there was the reception area along with four other rooms, one room to meet with the acupuncturist and three others each containing three lazy-boy chairs, most of them with someone in them. There were about five or six people there at the same time I was. I talked with the acupuncturist for a while then chose a chair and had my needles put in. Only about nine needles, she said that they start off with few needles to begin with. I felt a lot around the needles, some felt like bruises - my feet went a little crazy wanting to move all the time, but I have neuropathology there so I expect the chi is off so say the least. Anyway, I respect what they are providing and intend to go back regularly.

Visiting My Oncologist

Met with my Doctor for the first time in about a month. We talked a little about things, I asked him about a problem I have been having with my belly button. Its bright red and leaking greasy stuff, leaving crud behind - sorry about that. I got some antibiotic cream from the nurses which I have applied and its taken away some of the red, but it still hurts, sort of a cutting feeling, not there all the time but often enough that it bothers me. Doctor noted that it was on the site of some new growths I had across my abdomen, he felt around the belly button, which was darned sensitive, and showed me how I could feel the tumor just below the belly button (yuck - have to admit I didn’t like that.) I am hoping that it was breaking up, the doctor said the pains can come from tumors either growing or dissolving, so I am going to go with dissolving, wish that shooting pain would stop though, its like a knife thats inside me and if I move a certain way it starts cutting.  Never mind though, life is pretty good these days.

Savoy Brown Blues Band

Just wanted to add that I went to see these guys with a friend of mine, I recall them from my youth (teens).  I thought I might have a good time at this show but it was just the most.  I mean, Kim Simmonds was really on and played a lot of tracks from the new album (which I picked up at the end of the night, I think its my first Savoy Brown Blues CD), he obviously was born to play music and the show he put on on Wednesday night was magical, top form, over the top, you know what I mean.  When ever I go to see a great music show it is always apparent to me that music is a healing thing.  Know what I mean?

First of all I want to get this website in todays blogg, before I hit the wrong key and delete it, http://www.lazarexfoundation.org/index.php, forget how I found it, I will edit to let you know, but it sounds interesting, I wrote them for more information.

I didn’t mean to stay away from my blogg so long, I really wanted to get back to blogging. But a friend’s brother died, the week after his aunt died, and even worse the brother was found destitute, dead out in the fields. He had always had a problem with alcohol, but I guess no more.

Anyway, I think I needed to be there. So I was. The father still alive to witness his son’s death by alcohol. How sad, how seemingly pointless, and how often this happens. I’d guess in almost every family is one or two like this. The brother was not even as old as I am, so I guess I should count myself lucky. It was a thoughtful time, what can you say to someone who has lost someone, that close, and in this way. It all sounded pretty trite, but I said it anyway. I know everyone did their best, and more than they should have had to.

With all the books I’ve been reading about death I thought I would have more help to offer, but nope. On the drive down I forgot to bring my pain kills and got sick, in Paso Robles I think it was. I hurled for about twenty minutes, I believe it was the snickers bar I ate. After that I just lay down for the rest of the night. I was out of it. Thats it thought, my body is now a temple and no more junk, it doesn’t even taste good.

So, that was that. On the drive back I stopped at Andy’s in Sebastapol and bought a whole bunch of organic nuts, dried fruit, chocolate flavored colostrum, and a little tuna salad mix, which was the most unhealthy thing I bought. Went home and put some of the tuna mix on my crackbread (don’t want much regular bread anymore just this which is way more fun to eat.) Then I mixed up the chocolate colostrum with an organic banana and ate it all.  It was the first thing that I ate today and it went down well. And its been down now for about 2 hours so I think I’m safe.  I feel great anyway, and its wonderful to be back in Guerneville where all is well.

Well, this doesn’t happen everyday, although I might wish it did, because I really enjoyed myself. Today I took the suggestion of a woman I met recently, called Saskia. Saskia rescues dogs, which is how I met her (well, by synchronocity I emailed her about a rental property over a year ago, but only met her in person recently.)

Saskia is a very special woman who has a lot to give and has no problem giving it (mainly to dogs, lucky dogs!). After finding out I had cancer Saskia has offered me many suggestions. One, a book called Initiation (enjoyable because it encompasses reincarnation a theory which is more and more attractive to me these days). Also Saskia told me about someone she knew, who was a financial consultant mainly, but who also did healings.

Well What Do I Have To Lose

Well, nothing at all I say at this point, so yesterday I called up the doctor and talked to him for a few minutes. He was about to leave town for a while so he squeezed me in today. So today at two I started on my journey to his Petaluma office which was indeed full of what looked like financial files all over the place - it reminded me of my life as a legal secretary and the lawyers I had worked for whose files managed to walk all over the office in order to find a space of their own, the whole room ends up being used as a filing area.

Anyway, he sat down with me and explained his history of how he got into healing, and why he only does it part time. He talked of his philosophy of how we all have contracts with our bodies, I may have one saying that I’m to leave this plane of existence in 2008/2009 he said, he was over the course of the treatment going to see if there was one with me and work to see if indeed I sincerely wanted to stay (he didn’t put it that way but it types quicker) and there was nothing disturbing (in his opinion) to leaving early as he believed in reincarnation (he says usually 10-15 years after death), he said that maybe I wanted to leave this plane because the world was going to be so hairy between 2008 and 2018, in that case it would be a wise decision. He said there were many prophesies that these times were not going to be pleasant. However I didn’t follow up on that so I have no tips to give you. But if the economy continues like this I can see lots of little problems coming for sure.

My Spirit Guides

He looked around me and said that I had a lot of spirit guides around me. He asked me for my mums name and description, he saw her there too, though she is alive. He said that he saw something in me that he hadn’t seen in another before which was that I was afraid of losing my parents so much that I had pacted with myself to die with them. This surprised me as my relationship with my parents is probably like yours, if not worse. However I am aware of the subconscious and the conscious minds and how easy it is to be out of touch so it could be quite likely. I shared my surprise with him, but just because it sounds unlikely I am certainly not going to ignore the idea.

Karma Balance

He had me lie on his futon and he listened to my body, he told me that I was trying to pay off my karma too fast (doing too much basically) and that it was killing me, literally, he also told me that CHRISTINE DOESN’T GET ENOUGH FUN, at first I waffled and almost disagreed but NO he was right, CHRISTINE DOESN’T GET ENOUGH FUN and we have to work on this. Well, I wasn’t going to argue with that. Maybe we should all say it together _______ DOESN’T GET ENOUGH FUN. Its sort of fun just to do that, say it loud and proud!

He then had me think of three people that I had helped, to my detriment, and we did a little ceremony to loosen the karmic agreements. His hands felt cold when he touched me, which was nice because my sickly body is all hot and needs cooling. He moved his hands about over my body and I could hear my intestines growling, my poor body, but it felt better - as if everything was loosening up a bit and feeling more comfortable.

There Was A Lot More To This

But hey, I was in the middle of it and not taking notes. However, I have decided to work further with my medicine man because I absolutely agree with his philosophy which I haven’t really described yet, but will tell you as things unfold. Also, I just felt better after seeing him. He made me promise to dance wildly for at least 10-15 mins per day, so that sounds doable, maybe we should all do it together. He also gave me a liquid drink called Xango, actually he didn’t give it to me, but sold it to me. Medicine man told me that he doesn’t add any markup and I loved him for that. You have no idea how creepy it is when people are trying to sell you something that ‘might help’ cure you, and they are doing this as a living, I am 600% more likely to believe someone when they say something works if they are not making any money out of it.

Back To Guerneville

So that was it, my visit to the Medicine Man. It was almost mundane, but not. I got in my car and drove back home, I felt better that was for sure. I had started hurting driving down to Petaluma in the two usual places in my pelvis, but now there was no pain there, my body just felt more relaxed all over, and in case that sounds like no big deal, my body is usually so tense that if I touch my torso it feels like something solid (and I’m not talking washboard abs) as if concrete has replaced all the air that usually resides in the torso. He asked me to call him around March 10 or so to see what our next step will be. I will be doing that my medicine man.

One More Thing to Be Grateful For

I shouldn’ t have waited until this far down it the blogg to tell you that shortly after I began my session with Medicine Man he told me that Saskia has paid for the session. You have no idea how surprised I was. I know Saskia is not rich, in fact she needs all the help she can get with her dog rescue mission. But, still I accepted the gift. I am constantly amazed at the kindness of strangers (if indeed they can be called that.) I am amazed that people help me this way, over and over. And I am grateful for it. Saskia you are one of my angels. Damn it now I have to live!

ANYONE WANNA DO SOME CRAZY DANCING?