Getting Over It

Well, its been a few days now since I’ve had my new diagnosis and I’m trying to digest it and not get too bummed out, that won’t do any good.  So Monday I had a meeting with my oncologist, he went over my medical records (not all as I found out) and sugar coated it a little, saying it was growing but not really fast, with extra tumors in the lungs, definate cancer now in the pelvis, but thankfully my liver is ‘stable’ as they put it.  He suggested another kind of chemotherapy called Erbituz, I haven’t googled it yet but I’d guess its kind of yukky.  I asked doc about Vitamin C and Vitamin D and he says that Vitamin C doesn’t really help, and Vitamin D might help prevent but no more, I asked about immunology and he mentioned they were doing something like that at Stanford, that the first patient had great results but the next 19 didn’t as the tumor learns to change before the vaccine gets to it.  I don’t know, I wanted to draw his attention to the figures on chemotherapy – not too heartwarming – but didn’t want to make it into a full fledged argument as it was working its way in that direction.

What Is This?

I asked for a copy of my PET Scan when I left my doctors office, and when I got home I started reading it and making use of google.  Well, did I have some sort of surprize waiting for me.  Of course there was peritoneal carcinomatosis which is a lot of cancer in the abdomen, I googled that and it said ‘considered terminal and end of life situation’ yowser I hate that language.  Actually it said that these days they can help by ‘harvesting’ the foci I guess, though with all the stuff I have going on I can’t see that happening.  Then under the section called ‘other’ I saw this: a fair amount of air is present in the vagina, which may be incidental though the finding does raise a possibility of some type of colovaginal fistula.  What is that?

Oh My God

So I google this, and can’t find colovaginal fistula, but find out what a fistula is (an abnormal connection) and read in Wikipedia about rectalvaginal fistula which is an abnormal connection between the vagina and rectum.  Shucks, so I guess the colovaginal fistula would be an abnormal connection between the colon and the vagina.  Lovely, just what I always wanted.  I’m a freak.  Actually it makes perfect sense, ever since my radiation things have seemed a little weird down there, there were times when I thought that my pee was exiting from my vagina, and incontinence is a close companion, even Kegel exercises didn’t help – and this would explain all that, including the urinary tract infection I had a week or so ago.  I expect that will be a regular occurance for me now, or so it says in Wikipedia.  Wish my doctor or my nurses had mentioned this and gone over it with me, I’m disappointed to say the least, its not like I’ve never mentioned troubles with my vagina to them.  Oh well.  This reminds me when I first had my cancer diagnosis and signed up for a support class, at the first one I heard a story of a women whose sister had radiation  which seared the vagina shut and she had to have surgery to fix it, makes you wonder how often this happens.  The Wikipedia entry said that a lot of problems occur because women are too embarassed to bring this problem up (you don’t say) and their bodies get weak from recurring infections.


So on the good side I went and did my first show on KOWS yesterday, and had a blast.  I doubt that more than 5 people were listening, but who cares, not me, I loved listening to all my great music over good speakers, played stuff like “In The Nursery” Bill Laswell, Captain Beefheart, Chemical Brothers, Scenic, Lanterna and lots more.  You really missed a great show there!  Well, at least something is going right in my life

Dr. Slavin

Got an email from Dr. Slavin last Thursday, he now has all of my records and is getting ready to do his consultation.  I am trying not to get too anxious about this but can’t help myself.

St. John What Can You Do

It seems that there is a dead saint in San Franciso at a Greek Orthodox Church off of Geary Street that can perform healing miracles so what the hey I think I will try that too.  I believe on Wednesdays around 5 p.m. you can visit the saint’s coffin and touch it.  The brother of a friend of mine has suffered from sciatica for 18 months and he kissed the coffin and lost all pain from the sciatica, he is convinced it is a miracle.  And miracles do happen.


1 comment so far

  1. Nigel Humberstone on

    Sounds like your going through quite a rough ride, but with a hell of a lot of dignity and positivism.
    We wish you all the best.

    If there’s any ITN titles you’re missing – just get in touch.

    Nigel / In The Nursery

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