Working on that Gas

Well, another day with quite a bit of pain in it. Maybe I asked for it at first, I drove down to Monte Rio to have breakfast at a cheap breakfast place I go to sometimes. I didn’t eat too much; eggs and toast essentially, gave the rest to Simon (dog). Had an orange juice too, that was GOOD. Afterwards I walked with Simon on Monte Rio beach, that was nice – there were many ducks around and Simon behaved himself by not chasing any of them.

Well, so far no pain, just a bruised feeling left over from last night. After breakfast I dropped into Safeway and bought myself some Gas-X. It took a few hours before pain of any amount came on so at that point I took the Gas-X, I mean if this is caused by gas then I would be stupid not to try and get rid of it the easy way I took a dose of 2 capsules (their daily limit) but noticed no difference. Over the next hour I took another one but it made no difference, I ended up taking 4 but by then I had taken so much morphine and smoked more joints so who knows about any difference it might have made.

Morphine Dosage

So I was at the point where I was hurting, feeling pissed off and desperate and reached for the morphine. I took two droppers full which should have been more than one dose. No effect, this is pretty frightening, when the pain killers don’t work you know you are in for a bumpy ride. I rolled another joint, that helped a little – sometimes I think its the ritual – but still I returned for more morphine and now am, while not in pain, in discomfort. I am trying not to lie down so much either, I think it makes me more nauseous. What keeps me going with this though is them telling me it wasn’t caused by my cancer (because the tumors aren’t where the pain is.) I have a feeling this pain might be connected to my belly button problem.

Plans for the Meeting

Beth called me again and we went over more about the meeting to come (where everyone who agreed to help me as my sickness progresses gathers together to meet for the first and only time.) It will be held in a room in a resort in town, the Dawn Roadhouse I think.

I am so looking forward to this meeting, I feel like I am just arriving at Guerneville for the first time and have the chance to meet all those people that I have, to date, only seen. Vidya might be able to attend telephonically (its a 90 min drive from the Bay Area!) so it looks like things will just fall into place, I hope so anyway for Beth’s sake. Beth is going through some stresses of her own too, with family moving in with her, so prayers for Beth who has been my guardian angel through this.

Community Church

Well, I’m still going to the Church, and feel very comfortable there. I wish I knew the tunes to some of the hymns but thats my only complaint! It is a nice experience to go there, sing hymns, listen to the sermon, hug and introduce myself to other members and afterwards we all eat a meal which another church member brings! It’s very loving and very down to earth. Last week I took my meal and sat by the KGGV garden which Peter and Damien and others have been lovingly tending. I love gardens, don’t you?

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