Archive for August, 2008|Monthly archive page

Hypnosis Another Step In The Right Direction

Well, yesterday was a big day for me, the first day with NO pain whatsoever, admittedly there are those 145 whatever morphine patches I am wearing, but even with those I have been having severe abdominal pains that I blame on gas.

Remember Hypnosis?

And how I wanted to try it out to manage the pain? Well, I got an irresistible offer of a session from Cathey Ragucci of San Rafael, I was to call Monday evening at 7 p.m. and we would see if this could help me manage the pain. Well, 7 p.m. came on Monday and found me asleep, not that I had completely forgotten the meeting, but the pain had been so intense earlier (around 5) that I asked for some of my muscle relaxants which put me to sleep. But Cathey persisted and called me, woke me and I washed myself with a cold washcloth to wake myself up, then called her back.

What Was It Like?

Well, very normal it seemed, and relaxing, I just lay on the bed with the phone aside of me and listened to Cathey speak to me about my getting into my body, finding and then describing the pain, then as the pain got less recognizing the ‘look’ of that lesser pain and it worked well to lower the pain. Well, perhaps I’m not the best at describing hypnosis, it seemed so simple there wasn’t too much to describe, I really enjoyed the experience and it was very relaxing. The session was repeated for the purpose of getting a recording that I can re-use which Cathey said she would send me. (Hopefully Cathey doesn’t mind my giving her name out here as she has her own website (which I will link in later.) Later I went sleep practically immediately and my brother said I was sawing logs all night long (good for me.)

It Surprized Me The Next Day However.

When I woke up with NO pain whatsoever. And full of energy. When I say that I mean that I walked around downtown Guerneville for about four or five blocks with no tiredness and no shakey legs (although those things are still way too boney.) After walking around downtown I also went to Pat’s for breakfast and had an omelette which was incredibly delicious; bacon and smoked cheese. So strange that for almost all my life I have been 90% vegetarian but these days I crave meat. Go figure. I had fruit too so I got my carbs and some good food in me, hopefully I haven’t lost all of my nutritional sense! Thank you Cathey, you have done me some favor!!

Simon the Spoilt

Donna from Pat’s came around this morning, bearing roses for me and sausages for dog Simon!!! Could you believe, she had to get her ‘Simon’ fix, Simon was overjoyed to see her and showed it by running directly to his bad of sausages. I love this town and thank God for leading me here, Guerneville I couldn’t have done it without you (and some outlanders too).


I’m Still Out Here

Just in case anyone is left out there wondering (its been such a long time since I’ve written my blogg); I seem to have arisen from those slimy slumbers of morphine and am back in the land of the living.

.Its one in the morning here in Guerneville and it seems like months now I have been struggling with pain, losing mammoth amounts of weight and not having the energy to hold a coffee cup for a few moments. Sheeesh, people shouldn’t have to go through this. And you know what I don’t think I will anymore. As of today I feel I have reached a turning point where strength is concerned and I am ready to fight again.

Where Am I Anyway

Well, now I am part of the hospice service which is a curious thing (hospice I mean). It’s, to put it simply, based on accepting your passing and allowing them to medicate you so that the pain is controlled and life can be lived. For me its more a place to go to to rest from that terror that was chemo. Its a better system. I have one nurse, one social worker and also various aides who come to wash me, there is a chaplain available also and I was able to meet with him once already. I like this guy. I didn’t want any bullshit so I told him that the truth was that I wasn’t accepting my death, that I wanted to and was planning to live and wanted some counseling on that order rather than just tidying up my affairs. To my joy he seemed very very happy to hear this and expressed that it was a joyful decision as he was hearing it. Wow that was freeing, when he left he actually asked me whether he could research some other alternative healing techniques for me, well .. . could you ask for better than that?

Well I already had better than that anyway!

Yep, I sure had, listen to this. It got really hairy with my health, like I was really on the edge, days from death, many people spoke to me about this, how weak I looked. My parents had to be told and my brother John who is now living with me (yeah!!!!!!) did the deed. It shocked them and it was the last thing I wanted them to hear but it was getting late. John told them both that I was sick and also broached the subject of my smoking medical marijuana, I just never got the guts to tell them as . . . well, you know how that goes. But while I was trying to adjust to the correct morphine dose to control my pain I used both the morphine and medical marijuana to control the pain. The marijuana worked better, faster (like immediately) and I could stand up and walk around and communicate, on morphine – no way. The MM also helped with constipation, (sorry) and anxiety. It was apparent to my parents instantly that this was the better way. But they had already accepted my smoking it before seeing the affects and this is what I really love them for. Thanks mum and dad. This was so healing it was uncanny, it was the only secret I had and was such a joy to throw off. I am so happy. My sister Mary is also visiting me from Florida, sacrificing days off she hasnt even earned yet bless her and giving me six days away from her two dogs also. Thats love. Thank you Mary.

This is the cure for Cancer

The cure for cancer is love and support in big gobs. Let them sue me for saying it. Because I know my fabulous support system from Share the Care to Radio to Church to Family are responsible for this turnaround. You gotta eat good food too, no joke, seriously get into your refrigerator and get natural food in there for your own life’s sake.